The following post is taken from a piece written by Dr. Ron King, CEO of the Pastoral Institute, for their monthly newsletter.

All of us are struggling to understand the terrible tragedy that occurred last week in Newtown, Connecticut. Like you, we at the Pastoral Institute are deeply saddened. Our prayers and thoughts are with the parents, grandparents, families, friends, congregations and schools of the Newtown community. This type of event is not supposed to happen and certainly not to innocent children and dedicated teachers. It is difficult to comprehend. It is difficult to know how to respond. And there are no simple answers.

To help you and your family deal with the stress and anxiety associated with last week’s tragedy, we’re providing some information that we hope will be helpful.

Each of us responds to trauma differently, but there are a number of common reactions. These are normal and include:

• Sleep disturbance;
• Shock and disbelief;
• Difficulty concentrating;
• Heightened safety concerns for our children and ourselves; and
• Intrusive thoughts that replay the event involuntarily.

Also common is emotional numbing. To protect ourselves from undesirable realities, we may become numb and unresponsive to everyday pleasures and activities even in the midst of the holiday demands.

If you’re a parent, you are probably wondering what to say, what not to say, what to do, etc. There are a variety of things.

Be understanding. Acknowledge your children’s fears and anxieties. Try not to minimize their fears with false assurances but do assure them of your presence, protection and love. Accept their feelings and help them express them in constructive ways. It’s okay for children to feel upset and express these feelings. Knowing you are there for them is essential.

Limit their exposure to the news. Discuss any topics they hear or images they see that disturb them and help them express their concerns. Limit all television and radio during family meal times and guide conversations toward subjects that do not relate to the news for the next week or so. Limit any discussion of traumatic events when younger children are in the vicinity.

Sustain normal patterns of life. Maintain routine eating, sleeping, recreation and worship patterns. Our rituals help structure and stabilize life. When needed, provide night lights and other assurances of comfort. Reduce any of your child’s stressors over which you have control.

Explain what happened. When children want to know what happened, explain to them in an age-appropriate manner. Assure them you love them and are committed to taking care of them and keeping them safe.

In the days, weeks and months to come, different coping strategies will come into play. We need to be interacting with others, talking with people about what we’re thinking and feeling and possibly giving back to feel like we’re helping make the world better in some small way at a time when things feel so wrong.

Connect: We are human beings and we want to stay connected with “the normal world” as we know it. We need to love and be loved. Connect with those you love and reach out to those with whom you can share openly and honestly.

Communicate: Seek out persons with whom you can communicate deeply and talk with them about your reactions. Those of us who do not easily talk about our feelings will need to try harder. When we talk with appropriate persons, we organize our experiences and may better understand ourselves and our reactions. Prayer is an experience of communicating deeply and can be a tremendous resource during traumatic times.

Act: Find activities that are positive for your spirit, mind and body. Consider doing things that make the world a little bit better. Be intentional with your time and engage in activities that contribute to your sense of well being and you will be able to take better care of your children and others.

Feel: Tend to your feelings and talk about them with people you trust. Being mad, scared, sad, and hurt are normal feelings.