By Grace Martino-Suprice
In 2019 a couple colleagues and I ran a workshop for young adult students and pastors. It was aimed at equipping participants with the tools to be able to share who Jesus was in their lives from their points of doubt instead of the mountaintop testimonies we often voice. They had to create timelines comprised of moments when their faith was challenged and had to share their story using their narratives of doubts with a partner. Many had never told their testimony from this perspective even though instances of struggle are often the ones that refine our faith the most.
Why is it that we regularly share our testimonies once we are on the side of glory, when arguably one of the most notable and transformative biblical scenes is one of immense pain and uncertainty? The gruesome snapshot of Jesus on the cross. What if we too saw moments of disquietude as a crux and not a crisis? A comma, and not a looming end punctuation?
There is power in sharing testimony even when it is wrapped in questions. The image of our Beloved Savior, weak on the cross is often the one in which He feels closest to us, the most near to our tears and suffering. It moves us to compassion, empathy and indignation. Jesus’ human experience is the focal point of our belief. It is what we teach our children as the most significant act in our faith that brings forth salvation. Why then do we feel that our own moments of vulnerability, fear and uncertainty cannot be used for the glory of God? In the same way Jesus displayed His pain, our times of frailty can be the crux in which we share our faith with others that might be in search of a Savior. Our questioning does not disqualify us from sharing the Truth that we have encountered, even if it is not wrapped with a bow. We are not called to sell Christ to others, but invite them to a relationship that can hold even our wrestling.
When Jesus returned in His glory from the grave and revealed Himself to His disciples in Matthew 28, verse 17 shares, “when they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.” Some doubted. We cannot skip over this detail because even though Jesus knew some were struggling to believe, He shared with them the Great Commission regardless.
“Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age,’” (Matthew 28: 18-20).
We can be doers of God’s will during our doubt. The goal has never been to have a fool-proof faith to export, but to share the Good News that the Lord is with us. The world will not be impacted by a perfect faith with all the answers. It will be transformed by a human one. If you are in the middle of your hurt, doubt, and uncertainty this Easter season, know you are in the palm of the Great Comforter, who put His agony on display to remind you of the holiness of your wrestling.
Grace Martino-Suprice is the Baptist Fellowship NE Coordinator/CBF Specialist. She also works within Familia, CBF’s Latino Network, to ensure the growth and belonging of Latinx persons within the Fellowship.