By Rev. Brittany Stillwell

I recently had the opportunity to participate in Baptist Women in Ministry’s 40th anniversary celebration, October 2-4. Around 200 people gathered in Louisville, Kentucky, to remember our founding and look forward to the future. Executive Director Meredith Stone began our opening worship by reminding us that 40 is an important number for the People of God. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, Jesus was tempted in the wilderness for 40 days and, after his resurrection, Jesus appeared to the disciples for a period of 40 days before ascending into heaven.

If I’m honest, wilderness feels like an appropriate theme for Baptist Women in Ministry’s (BWIM) first 40 years. Our history is one of wilderness wanderings. The wilderness is a dangerous place. People don’t go into the wilderness unless they must. It is full of threats and obstacles. It can make you question your worth and doubt God’s presence. But danger is not all we find in the wilderness. We find surprises we could never imagine: water from a rock, manna from heaven, angels who attend to our weary souls, the risen Christ who serves breakfast on a beach when we are at the end of our rope. 

In March of 1983, 33 women met in Louisville to discuss their pending journey through the wilderness. For them it was a must; a necessary excursion so that women after them could be free to faithfully live out their calling in places where they could thrive. It has been a tough road, but there have been surprises along the way. We have seen hope in community, an increasing number of women ordained and serving in ministry positions, scholarships and programs to help women learn and thrive.

I wasn’t born when these women first gathered and there are no words to thank them for the ground they covered. I would not be where I am today were it not for those 33 women and countless others (men too) who have stood up to the powers that be. They used their voices God gave them, taking up their space at the table and creating space for others to live into their Identity as a gifted and called child of God.

I am a child of the wilderness. I have not walked the full 40 years in the wilderness with these brave women, but I have joined them on their journey; a child born in a strange place between what was and what could be. I grew up being taught that women could be pastors and leaders in the church, but for me this was a mirage—something I could imagine but could not see.

I was encouraged to use my gifts for ministry, but never invited to preach or do more than lead a preschool choir and sing in church. I never had to flee oppressive ideology, but instead learned to see the world with a vision of what the Promised Land could look like, even as the wilderness stretched before me, too. I stand on the shoulders of the women who came before me even as I continue the work they started.

In scripture “40” isn’t just a numerical marker to describe a wilderness reality that drags on forever. It marks a turning point. Something has ended and something new is beginning. Last week, I stood at a crossroads with women and men of all ages and stages of ministry. I could feel deep in my soul that something was ending as something new was beginning. We needed to gather; to remember how far we have come, to lament the struggle, to celebrate the successes and to laugh at the absurdity of it all. But we are not done. There is still so much more to do. I think this next 40 years is calling us to expand and I am committed to the journey as we seek to make space for all women to lead. 

I don’t think we’ll make it to our final destination in my lifetime, but I am excited to see what the children who are small now or even not quite born will teach us as we continue to walk together toward the promised land.

Brittany Stillwell is the Associate Pastor with Students and Families at Second Baptist Church – Downtown Little Rock, AR and serves on the Baptist Women in Ministry Board of Directors.