By Christine, CBF field personnel, Africa/Middle East

“Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end
without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability— and that it may take a very long time. And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually—let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own goodwill) will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.“
—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ, Hearts on Fire

Slow is not my forte. Nor is “letting.” I want to make things happen; maybe it’s impatience, maybe control, mix in a little pride—probably all of the above; it’s this human nature of ours. But somewhere along the way on this faith journey of mine, and particularly on this road to saying “yes” to a life in ministry overseas, I got introduced to these two men, these Christian contemplatives whom I’d never heard of before; but I’m certain I wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for their work and writings and the Holy Spirit. They are Thomas Keating, a Trappist monk, and Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a Jesuit priest.

Unlike many in Baptist circles, I grew up with spiritual practices such as lectio divina and with theologians like Bonhoeffer, Buechner and Nouwen. I knew a broader view of Christianity and the spiritual life than many of my peers; but prayer was still always an active thing. It came from my initiative to write or speak or think my desires and requests, petitions and thanksgivings, praise and adoration, anger, fear and doubt.

And then, in college and grad school and seminary, I was exposed to these new voices who said, “sit still and listen.” Just be with God, and here’s how you can do that. Make the time to sit long enough to let the clutter clear—the dizzying slew of daily life; then see what’s underneath; pay attention to what rises. Listen to what the Spirit is saying to you and notice how it changes you. Notice how you slow down, even as the world continues to race. Notice how you become a person of peace, of compassion. Notice the
courage that appears, seemingly without explanation. It was in the practice of centering prayer that I first learned to slow down, or at least how to try.

And then, in that season of wrestling, of not wanting to wait, of not understanding God’s timing, I came across these words from Chardin. They were the exact words I needed then, and they’re ones I continue to return to as the temptation and the desire to lean on my own strength, to make my own way, rise. It’s a constant struggle and the words and wisdom of these spiritual guides who’ve gone before me is the tether I need to take a deep breath, a prayer itself, to let go, to lose my grip on control, to trust that God is good, that God is who God says He is, that God will guide me even when we’re not moving as fast as I’d like or think we should be or we’re not going in the obvious direction I think we should be going. Trust in the slow work of God. I love the underlying assumption in this line…trust that God is at work, even if you don’t see it. The implication is that, of course, God is working. Thanks be to God.

PRAY, PRACTICE, PONDER

The 16th century Christian mystic, St. John of the Cross, said, “God’s first language is silence.” When we are still and silent, with the intention of being present with God, we join God in God’s first and deepest language. Today, set aside a few minutes to be quiet and still in order to rest in God. If you are new to this type of meditative prayer, you can simply set a timer for five minutes, and see what happens. Notice if your mind wonders, or if you are tempted to get up and do something, or if it is easy for you to simply be. If this style of prayer is already familiar to you, you may wish to commit to a longer stretch of time, or to use a word or image as your guide, similar to a centering prayer practice. We often spend our lives working on God’s behalf; sometimes we forget God’s invitation to come to Him and rest our weary souls.