By Brian Foreman
“If you should ask me about the ways of God, I would tell you that the first is humility, the second is humility, and the third is humility. Not that there are no other precepts to give, but if humility does not precede all that we do, our efforts are fruitless” (St. Augustine).
The perception gap is not a new phenomenon; people have been misunderstanding one another for years. We make assumptions. We fill vacuums of information with our own, often biased, thoughts or experiences. Remember the last time you assumed the worst about something only to later find an innocent mistake was behind it.
Then what is the perception gap? There are several ways of understanding it or defining it:
- It is a distorted view of the other side of the aisle.
- It is the difference between one side’s actual beliefs and the perception by the other side about what the “other” believes.
- It occurs when what you think is true doesn’t align with reality.
- It occurs when you attempt to communicate an assessment of information, but its misunderstood by your audience.
Why It Matters: The perception gap creates conflict. It tears families, congregations and communities apart. It may be powerful enough to tear apart a democracy. But how?
- It leads to polarization.
- It creates damaging misconceptions.
- It demonizes the other.
An example of the danger: In my own family following the 2020 election, my faith was questioned because I voted a particular way. “There is no way you can be a Christian and vote for (insert candidate name of choice).” I was demonized by assumptions and the perception gap. This is likely not an unfamiliar story to many readers.
How to Overcome a Perception Gap:
- Notice and name it in yourself.
- Be curious (hat tip to Ted Lasso), but not certain.
- Stay in conversation with, rather than trying to convert others.
Go Deeper:
- Learn more about the perception gap at More in Common
- Take the quiz I took it and was way off on a few things and closer on others. I have some work to do. Will you join me?
Brian Foreman serves as the CBF Coordinator of Congregational Ministries.