By Jessica Hearne, CBF field personnel, Virginia

“Then Peter came to him and said to him, ‘Lord if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22

“Forgiveness does not relieve someone of the responsibility for what they have done. Forgiveness does not erase accountability. It is not about turning a blind eye or even turning the other cheek. It is not about letting someone off the hook or saying it is okay to do something monstrous. Forgiveness is simply about understanding that every one of us is both inherently good and inherently flawed. Within every hopeless situation and every seemingly hopeless person lies the possibility of transformation” – Archbishop Desmond Tutu, The Book of Forgiving

I have known Daniel for many years, though his relationship with our community has not always been a positive one. Daniel had started coming to Grace and Main Bible study over 11 years ago. He was the one who finally convinced Bruce to come to my house for a community dinner, a decision that eventually led to Bruce’s getting sober and becoming a leader in our community. Bruce and Daniel were old friends, and Daniel tried several times to get sober like Bruce. The process was much more difficult for Daniel, though, and every time he relapsed, he got more frustrated with Bruce’s success in the face of his own failure. Finally, during a particularly bad relapse, Daniel broke Bruce’s wrist with a baseball bat before leaving the community, possibly for good, we thought.

So, it was a surprise to me when, about three years later, not long after moving in to the first home of his own in many years, Bruce invited Daniel to be his first hospitality guest. Even though I had been helping run my own hospitality house for years at this point, I couldn’t understand how Bruce was able to forgive the abuse that he had endured from Daniel and, more importantly, how he could trust his old friend again after such a bad break. But Daniel’s health was starting to decline, and Bruce knew that Daniel needed a place to stay where he would have a friend to help care for him.

It wasn’t long before Daniel would return the favor. Daniel was there when Bruce went to the doctor and found out the first time about the cancer. Daniel was there at the hospital every day, helping Bruce eat as much as he was able, sitting with him so he wouldn’t be alone. Daniel helped sneak Bruce’s cat into the room one evening as the nurses conveniently didn’t come by the room for a while. Daniel was at Bruce’s side when he went home to die, watching the sun set over the community urban farm that he had put so much of himself into. And after Bruce passed, Daniel stayed in Bruce’s house, offering hospitality himself to another friend, Jody, who needed a place to stay while he also tried to quit drinking. Daniel would tell me, in those times when Jody would relapse that, if Jesus could help him after all that he had done, Daniel knew Jesus could also help Jody. And when he did, Jody would need a place to stay.

Daniel and Bruce certainly aren’t the people that I would have ever thought could be spiritual guides for me. However, I do not think I’ve ever known anyone else who could so radically embody Jesus’ command in Matthew 18 to forgive “seventy times seven” times. Daniel and Bruce lived the gospel of forgiveness: they forgave each other, just as God had forgiven them. And they both lived that forgiveness through acts of radical hospitality.

PRAY, PRACTICE, PONDER

Sometimes our spiritual guides are people and experiences we would never expect. Today, ponder the role of forgiveness in your life. Who has forgiven you? Whom have you forgiven? What people and experiences have taught you about forgiveness and reconciliation? You may wish to spend some time journaling about these questions. Allow this to be your prayer today.