By Brian Foreman

INTOIT, six letters that show a way forward in a culture of toxic polarization. These six magical letters are an acronym for I Never Thought of It That (way), and the title of a recent book by Seattle journalist Monica Guzman, a left-leaning child of Mexican immigrants in Seattle who vote Republican. It is a story of her journey to not lose her relationship with her parents while finding a way forward to argue, fuss, fight and love each other through seeking to understand one another.  

This book was on my mind at the General Assembly Bold Faithfulness workshop led by Dr. Elizabeth Corrie from Candler School of Theology. Dr. Corrie’s session demonstrated how deliberative dialogue practices help lead us to have sacred and courageous conversations around topics we might run from otherwise.  

Participants engaged in conversations about contentious matters at their tables, facilitated by Dr. Corrie, built on a process of curiosity, wonder, sharing and listening. The goal was finding common ground that provided unity, not uniformity of thought. Perhaps it sounds like fanciful thought or overly aspirational hopefulness to believe that the church can be a place of sacred and courageous conversations in an increasingly toxic and polarizing world. Maybe it is; but I’m not prepared to sell short the work of the Holy Spirit in guiding us toward being the presence of Christ.  

In the coming months, the Congregational Ministries Team and the Ministries Council will be creating and curating resources to help navigate the toxicity that comes with the season of elections and the machinations designed to separate us rather than unite us. I cling to the words of Paul in his letter to the Romans:  

³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39) 

I wonder sometimes if this is true of the people of God towards one another. In a world where we are presented with binary options of right and wrong, we separate ourselves from one another, claiming that belonging to a group is an all-or-nothing proposition. I wonder if this way of thinking causes us to lose our ability to INTOIT and have empathy. At that point, nothing is separating us from showing the love of God to one another except ourselves.

I am certainly not suggesting we remain in unsafe spaces, but I often want to use “unsafe” to describe what might just be uncomfortable. In my own discomfort, I “other” someone, not choosing to see the Imago Dei in them. While I may not be separated from the love of God when I do this, I am choosing not to participate in the fullness of Jesus’ command to love one another.  Our communities, churches and families (maybe even you and I) need to embrace the hope found in the words of Paul to the Romans, while embracing the commandment to love as we were first loved. I hope some of the resources and writings this fall will be helpful in your work of engaging sacred and courageous conversations. I am praying for your courage to do this holy work.