By Michon McCorkle

The therapeutic relationship is the most critical factor in making progress with clients. Trust, safety and a non-judgmental environment are foundational for clients to achieve therapy goals. Creating a contained safe space depends on the therapist’s spiritual, emotional and mental well-being. Unfortunately, self-care neglect is a work hazard in our chosen profession as we focus on the needs of our clients. The unspoken condition of our spirituality, relationships and mental and emotional health is present with each encounter. Ironically, I encourage clients to implement a bio-psycho-social-spiritual perspective to healing but sometimes abandon my holistic goals. Prolonged self-care neglect is evidenced by physical fatigue, brain fog, anxiety and forgetfulness within myself. 

I have made a lifetime commitment to physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and relational health. It cultivates wholeness and reduces the risk of being professionally impaired. This pledge reduces anxiety, gives clarity, brings joy, receives support, learns from others and sparks introspection. I am best when I eat healthy, exercise, stay connected to God’s word, nurture essential relationships, seek new experiences, fellowship with colleagues and meet with my counselor monthly.

It’s common for those in ministry to pour into our clients and have little left for personal relationships. I am unsure if it is because we become comfortable with our tribe or because we have depleted our tanks. It could be a combination of both. We remind our clients to reconnect with family and friends for emotional support so we must do the same. Time, distance or busyness get in the way of nurturing reciprocal and loving relationships. Finding time to connect fills our love tanks and is essential to self-care.

If we allow ourselves the time and space to do so, we will constantly be learning, growing and loving. Spiritual caregivers tend to find a way to say “yes” to most reasonable requests from others. We probably don’t do as well saying “yes” to ourselves. Being open to new experiences and adventures is a form of self-care. It’s easy to make a list of excuses not to travel, try a new recipe, take a creative class, learn a new skill or meet new people. Allowing ourselves to dream and act helps us escape limitations and discover strengths, talents and passions. Breaking out of my comfort zone to try new things brings confidence, connects me to people, overcomes fear and creates memories and meaningful occasions.

Fellowship with seasoned Pastoral Chaplains and Counselors allows one to draw upon wisdom and strength through sharing personal and professional experiences. I admire their resilience and contribution to the field as they reflect on challenges, grief, hardships and victories. Despite decades of work and devotion to God, I have learned that the commitment to meet, bear one another’s burdens, pray, accept, understand, encourage and sit lovingly in silence sustains the spiritual caregiver. This commitment contributes to the individual’s success, health, endurance and longevity.

Regular meetings with my counselor keep me accountable to goals and is a time to “download” and process my thoughts and feelings. Secretly, I’m looking to my counselor to give some indication if I am healthy or not. I seek guidance and insight as I make decisions, assess relationships, share my insecurities and confess my struggles. For me, counseling is a litmus test, an assurance, a gauge of my mental and emotional well-being. It is necessary and is a time for prayer and reflection, a time to be supported, to laugh at myself, to feel safe and to get the “okay” to move forward. 

My ethical and moral duty is to bring my best, healthiest self to each therapy session. It demonstrates gratitude and stewardship for the gift God has blessed me with. The holistic approach to self-care strengthens my faith and allows me to witness God’s power at work within the client.

Learn more about Spiritual Care Week here: https://www.spiritualcareweek.org/

Michon McCorkle is the owner of Family Matters Christian Counseling, and is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in both Indiana and North Carolina. She is a Pastoral Psychotherapy Diplomate and is an AAMFT Approved Supervisor.

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